


Sunny Days Seem To Hurt The Most (I Wear The Pain Like A Heavy Coat)

by deloudedtomlinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, and, i had a lot of feels, i just, idk - Freeform, this is just a random drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-27
Updated: 2013-07-27
Packaged: 2017-12-21 12:20:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/900245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deloudedtomlinson/pseuds/deloudedtomlinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But sitting there on that empty park bench somehow made it ok. Made it as ok as it could get.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunny Days Seem To Hurt The Most (I Wear The Pain Like A Heavy Coat)

**Author's Note:**

> im so. i just. this is rlly shitty. i just had a lot of feels and i needed to write them down. my tumblr is sabrinaofrp if anyone wants to send in prompts (ik ik ik no one wants to send in prompts) anywaY. that's about it. oh and the long title is from who you'd be today by kenny chesney

Harry sat quietly, biting his wobbly lip as he sat on the cold bench watching the people walk by. The lake shimmering in the sunset of the ending day. His gloved hands clasped in front of him sitting on his lap. His throat was thick as he remembered. The memories flashing through his mind, making him smile sadly and look to his left, where the bench was unsurprisingly empty. The light kit his face, making the bitter cold air a little less miserable. A shiver ran down his spine. He didn't mind being out in the cold, didn't mind sitting here by himself. Because if he sat here long enough, and let the memories he tries so hard to push away come forth, he can almost see him. Can almost hear his laugh and if the park is void of any people he'll talk to him, although he'd never admit it. The scarf wrapped snuggly around his neck made him feel warm, making him pull at it annoyed.   
  
_He doesn't know why he chose here to be their spot, it just was. As he pulled the boys hand through the park, laughing and giggling, his dimples prominent on his face he looked back at the beautifully flushed boy. It was in the moment he knew he was in love with Louis. He tugged him a bit farther, pulling him down to sit him down on the old rusted metal bench. It was becoming dark, their breath huffing out into little clouds. Harry was never one to show his true feelings. Opting to push them away until he didn't feel them anymore or it became easier to plainly ignore. But right now, Harry felt like sharing everything. Felt like laying it all out for the blue eyed boy, to lay it on the line and go for it. He noticed Louis staring at him. Not in a creepy way, but in a way where the cerulean orbs bore into, trying to channel all his emotions. Harry just nodded minutely leaning in excruciatingly slowly, finally feeling the feather light touch of their lips. His large hand reaching up to cup the boys cold cheek. They broke apart after a few moments, Harry and Louis' breath mingling. A faint "I love you." was whispered, making Louis mouth curl up into a shy, timid smile, as he looked down at their tangled fingers and back up to Harry's flushed cheeks. "I love you too."_

And from that moment, Harry was gone for him. Until Louis was gone.

"I miss you." he whispered brokenly, biting back the sob that threatened to escape. And it was simple, and small, but it spoke so many words. "I want you to know I'm ok though." he whimpered, his shoulders hunching slightly. "I'm ok enough." he whispered, mostly to himself. "I-I know you can't c-come back, Louis." Harry stammered, his eyes never leaving his feet. He hated it. He felt sick to his stomach knowing that he would look up and the beautiful blue eyed boy would be nowhere to be seen. Harry could reach out and hold him and kiss his cheeks. He'd look up to see solitude and loneliness. He'd look up to see pain and regret and memories that are beginning to fade. "But I want you to. I want you to come back." A warm tears fell from his cheek, Harry wiping it away quickly.

_It couldn't be true. It really couldn't be true. His legs wobbled and he felt like he was about to collapse. He had to hold on to something. The air feeling as though it's been sucked from his lungs. "You're lying." he growled childishly. The pitying eyes only stayed staring into his own as they shook their head. "We're so sorry."_

_All the boys took it impossibly hard. But there was a silent understanding that Harry had the worst of it. Harry was left alone. Not literally of course. But he felt it. He felt abandoned and left and he needed Louis like he need oxygen and he was pathetic._

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this." Harry whispered into the night that had now turned black. He didn't know how long he was sitting there. Whenever he came here time didn't really matter. Many times Harry would come and sit here until the sun returned to the sky. "We were supposed to settle down and we were going to make a family. Do you- Do you remember when I asked you to marry me? I know you said not right now, but you didn't say no. And that meant everything to me." he whispered, the tear tracks down his face he didn't even bother to wipe away. "I try really hard. I try to be strong and not miss you. Because missing you is the hardest thing I've ever done." he said to no one, his words falling out of his mouth into a void of nothing. Words no one will ever hear. The words Harry doesn't like saying. "And the worst part is, Louis, is I don't know how to do that now. I don't know if I can do all that without you." he admitted. "I never thought I'd have to do that with anyone else. I never dreamed it. And now you're gone. You're gone." he repeated, burying his face into his hands as if this is the first time he's said it outloud. "You're gone and you're never coming back and I can't help but feel like it's my fault. I should've protected you, Louis." he said quietly. His body wracked with another sob, as he silently cried by himself in the abandoned park. The park where he could feel him the most. "It's unfair, you know." he said after a few minutes, "You deserved all that. You..... we deserved a longer forever."

There was a long pause and Harry felt as though he'd run out of tears, he knew he hadn't. He knew that there was no way he could cry enough tears for the lost love. But he stood up anyway. Looking at the bench with an unreadable expression. Seeing the etched "H+L" making his heart clench. "Love you." he whispered, before stalking off.


End file.
